its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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