Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize