the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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