the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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