Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
