I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My life is pants optional.
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