He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
