forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
