Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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