We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sorry about my life...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
