I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
