I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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