I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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