So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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