Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
