I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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