Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize