I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
