He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
