This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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