we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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