6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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