If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I'm really busy with my period
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