I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
