She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
