He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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