Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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