the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
