It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
