i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize