you guys were way drunker than both of me
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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