can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
