gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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