Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
