just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize