I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
