Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
