Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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