We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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