From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
