I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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