I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
