When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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