Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
