Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
