I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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