I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
