no, he came in my armpit
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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