dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
