You really coming over, don't trick.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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