my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
