Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
