we're blogging at a bar
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
