But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
