THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
