Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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