she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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