That's intense
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
