She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
