you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
