Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
